Sugar, we're going down
by WeAreJustGettingAlong
Summary: Kurt began to realize that there was something wrong with Blaine but every time he tried to interrogate him or reach out to him,he escaped. Literally, he ran to the furthest place away from Kurt possible.Will Kurt be able to help Blaine before its too late? Story:Canon plus Klaine/Dalton!AU-Brittana relationship Santana/Blaine friendship/Blaitana TW:SelfHarm,depression and suicide
1. Kurt'S POV - First Day (Part 1)

Today was my first day at dalton. And to be brutally honest, I hated it.

Everyone seemed to have a group of their own, all those boys, with their blazers aligned. Talking. Laughing. Then there was me, all by myself. I missed my girls at Mckinley and I haven't even started the first period yet!

"Mister" someone called. I was waiting in the parapet of the wall, next to the bathroom door of the second floor, watching all the boys running through the halls trying not be late for the first class of the day, I turned around to see who was calling.

"Mister" was said again, by a lady who seemed to be at her fourties, with an inviting smile printed all over her face. Her eyes had a glow that was difficult to see around nowdays, and the wrinkles in her eyes were hidden by the big glasses that covered almost her whole face. "Yeah! you!"

"Me?" I said pointing my index finger to my chest.

"Yes boy!" she said coming closer to me. "You're new here, right young gentlemen?"

I just nodded while she stood in front of me, looking into me from my shoes till the top of my hair."Where is your guide then?" She questioned me suspiciously.

"I.. I.. My what?" I asked confused.

She looked at me, her eyes were jugdy. The woman stared at me for about 3 or 4 seconds then added "Follow me".

We walked until the end of the hall, and we stoped in front of a door. This door were about three times bigger than the others of the many doors of Dalton, and it had a big plate writen "Principal's room" on the top of it.

We entered the room, and she made the gesture for me to sit. The room wasnt different from the rest of the school, actually fit in pretty well. It was a mix of blue and white on the walls. The windows way bigger than it should be. Photos and sculputures of people that I imagine were the founders of the school all over the place, literally, since dad drop me here, I have seen those faces over and over and over again.

This room gave me the feeling of death. It was beautiful but it was giving me chills.

"What's your name?" She asked.

"Hummel. Kurt Hummel."

"Hummel..." She mumbled to herself a few times, looking through a pile of files, then taking a briefcase and putting aside.

"Kurt, Are you going to stay at the dorms?"

"Yes" I said. "When I got here, my dad and I left all my stuff in this empty room, or I would be la-"

"Actually, after we finish here, you gonna 'settle down'. You have a roommate to help you with everything. When he heard that you were joining the academic system of Dalton, he asked permission if he could be your new roommate, as he already knew yo-"While she was talking, my mind went far far away. I couldnt avoid the smile forming on my face, thinking that Blaine, that boy only could be Blaine, wanted to be my roommate. In the past two weeks, I've been texting him everyday and meeting him at the Lima bean every monday, wednesday and friday.

When I told him about changing schools, he was genuinely happy. What made me happy. And to think that we are going to share the same room. It's crazy.

"He will also be your school guide." She kept on talking, when we listened a soft knock in the door interrupting the woman's speech.

"Hello Ms. Campbell." Blaine said more nervously than I've have ever seen him before, like he was in a big trouble and was about to face it, I couldn't blame him anyway, I would be feeling the same way, if I was the one being called by the principal in the middle of class, I would be terrified.

"Oh, hi Kurt!" He said, the nervous look that was covering his face was all gone, now occupied by a big smile that lighed his whole face up. Ms. Campbell made the same gesture to him to sit next to me, while I smiled and returned a timid 'hello'."So, Mr. Anderson, I was just telling Mr. Hummel about how things work at our school, but I trust you to make sure he understands everything and feel welcome, are we clear?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course" Blaine said scratching his hair, and shaking his right leg non-stop.

"And for you" She said, looking directly at me "If anything happens, any trouble, or doubts or anything at all, my door is always open." I smiled and nodded. I have this poor habit that when I don't know what to say, I smile then nod. I do this alot through the day.

"Uhh, okay then." She said standing up, like saying to us to get out of the room. I exchanged a look with Blaine who gave me an encouragement smile, and we got out with a farewell from Ms. Campbell saying to me 'to have a nice tour at the school and enjoy my stay.'

We took a few slow steps through the silent hall. "Hi" He said to me.

"Hey" I answered looking at my feet.

"Hi" He said again making we both laugh. "This looks like a 'friends' episode, you know?"

"What?"

"N-Nothing" He said as we kept walking. "So these" he said pointing his hand to the doors around us. "It's the classrooms"

"No shit, sherlock!" I said making the most shocking face I could think of. He smiled and give me the tongue as he kept on explaining "These are the classrooms. We have tons and tons of floors just lke this one, and you being a newbie here my dear Kurt, you're most likely to get lost."

"Oh"

"Be careful though, Kurt, because the teachers here, they're a bunch of..." He looked to both sides, then he whispered in my right ear "Douchebags" If his breath didn't smell like strawberries, or while he spoke the air that came from his mouth tickled my ear, I would totally mock Blaine by the fact that he couldn't swear out loud."And you better watch out about being late, they really are sh-poop."

I laughed at him as he pushed my shoulder with his own. "Up here is pretty boring, I mean, there's nothing to show." He took my hand on his own what made me feel my face burn up "Let's check out our room, roomie!"

We went running, he in the front and me in the back. We were the only one in the halls and the floors were really smooth, but we kept running, we descended the first staircase. Blaine was all jumpy. We passed through the Trophy and The warblers rehearsal room that I recognised from the last time. We descended a new staircase set, and at that point I was already feeling breathless. We entered in something that looked like the lunch/dinner room, it was giant, but we passed throught it in matter of seconds, what made we end up in the school campus.

Blaine looked at me, his face was so red! I tried to laugh but I was just so damn breathless! We ran a bit more till we end up in front of this big plate written "Dorms".

We stopped and we both just stood there trying to catch our breaths again.

**if you liked, leave me a review c:**


	2. Kurt's POV - Blaine plus Kurt (Part 2)

I leaned against a column, breathing in deeply, then breathing out heavily, whereas Blaine was two steps away from me, leaned with all his weight on the door. His face were painted entirely of red, dripping with sweat, what made his gel drain through his face."Wow!" he said with a weak laugh cleaning his face with his left hand.

"Well" He kept talking after about five seconds. "Let's go then?"

We opened the door and were welcomed by another big hall. It had dorms on both sides, ten doors on each, the only difference between this and the classroom's halls were that they hadn't windows on the walls facing us.

We went upstairs, and we stopped in front of the third door, from left to right. Blaine took a key out of his pocket, and unlocked it.

"Home sweet home!" He said jumping on the bed on the right side of the room. When I gave my first step into the room, my attention quickly wavered to my right. The walls were painted in white with strips of dark blue crossing through it on the diagonal. It had two posters stapled in the wall. One of a band I've never heard of, it was a photo of a red wing printed in a yellow backgrownd, and on the top of it, with a weird font, was written "Aeon Spoke", on the side had a poster of Katy Perry live. At the eastern end of the room, had a writing desk with a black laptop on top of it, it was crammed with sheets and books in all over the place.

The room had two beds, with a space of 1.5 m away from each other. In the headboard of the bed where Blaine was settled down, had a really big pile of clothes, which he was making it as a pillow. I don't have idea if that was because Blaine was too sloppy, or because the wardrobe was too small, 'cause if that was the case, this just wouldn't work out right. What made me turn my attention to the little old wardrobe on the otherside of the room with the door almost exploding out.

I looked to the vague bed, all my stuff was there. I guess someone brought it here. And above the pillow had a sweater. Blaine saw where I was looking and commented "Those are Dalton's 'gift' to you" He said putting his both hands in the air, and doing 'speech marks' with his fingers.

"Why 'gift'?" I mimicked his hand's move sitting down and taking the sweater in my hands. It was way bigger than something I would use, it was WAY OUT of things I would use, especially in front of Blaine. It was a full blank sweater, but with DALTON written on it with capital letters.

"Because" He said " We are paying for it. Just like everything else." He noticed my cynical look. 'What happened with the prodigy proud student of Dalton of weeks ago?' I thought "D-Don't get me wrong. Dalton is fantastic. But it has alot of useless... shit here"

"I understand"

"So" He said sitting by my side "It's your first day here. And we really shouldn't go back, take the day off to settle down, then tomorrow you join to everything."

"Yeah, I guess"

"Do you want help?"

"No, I think is better to unpack my things alone" I said smiling back at him.

"Alright" He said rubbing my right shoulder and going back to the same spot he was before on his bed."Are you going to- You know, go back to class? I don't kn-" I started to ask but he quickly interrupted me."No, I will stay here." He replied to me, sending a warm smile in my direction. He took a book from the writing desk, and put his glasses on, and then I knew that he was locked on his own world.

* * *

"Blaine..." I called after I took all my clothes out of my bag and made a few piles with it. Jeans in one, blazer on another, pants on another, and so on. "Where I put it?"His eyes went comicaly wide between me and my pile of clothes."Wow"

"Yeah, I know." I said putting my hands on my pockets "I like to be ready for anything."

"I see!" He said laughing.

"So you gonna help me or just laugh from me?"

"Alright" He said taking a sit position. "You have LOADS of clothes. And so do I." I think that he noticed the look in my face and quickly added. "Something I do is let the uniform and warbler fantasies on the wardrobe, and the rest on my bag! You can do the same."He stood up and opened the old wardrobe door. When he did it, it made a terrible loud sound of a rusted hadnt as many clothes I thought it would have, but I could say that was clothes enough.

It was devided just like he told me. Uniforms, ties, and fantasies. Below that was two pairs of shoes, I finished unpacking and putting my things together, I felt a pair of eyes burning on my back. I turned around and there was Blaine staring at me. "is my blazer dirty? Damn, already?!" I asked trying to look my back, but failing miserably.

"No. Of course not" He said seriously.

"So... What's up?"

"Nothing" I just nodded."Its almost lunch time" He said cheking the time on his cell phone. "Its better we get going, the boys are crazy to meet you!"

"The boys?" I asked confused following him out of the room. "Which boys?"

"The warblers, silly!"

Blaine and I were sat down at one of the large round tables in the cafeteria of Dalton, goofing around and throwing conversation, when we heard the first steps coming closer and closer. In less than two minutes the cafeteria was already infested with boys all over the room, their conversations, laughter and steps off the pace breaking the silence that just moments ago was being inhabited by me and Blaine and the sound of metal hitting metal coming from the kitchen.

"Hey Blainers!" A tall boy said sitting by his side."Hey, hey, hey" Another one said, sitting next to me.

"OH YOU WONT BELIEVE IT- SUP GUYS. ANDRE JU..."After a few seconds our table were already filled, when another boy joined.

"Blaine, is this your boy?" He said pointing to me. What made everyone else laugh.

"H-He is not" He replied blushing. "This is Kurt."

"Awe Blaine" Another one said messing with Blaine's hair "Don't be embarrassed"

"Shut up Nick" Blaine said with a little pout forming in his lips.

"All we need is love!" One of them said really loud.

"Oh my god Jeff, stop embarrassing us in front of the new dude"

"Guys, stop messing up with Blaine" The tall blonde guy said.

"Come on Blaine, you know is a joke!" Jeff said with a charming smile.

"Kurt" Wes took my attention from the rest of the group and headed up for me. Or would that be David? "would you be interested in join into The Warblers?" The african american kid continued the sentence "We've seen your videos on YouTube ... and they're pretty impressive!"

"OF COURSE!" I said too excited and too quickly. I got a few laughs from a few people on the table. I faked cough and answered again with a different tone "Oh, sure."

"So, See you on rehearsal today?"

"Count on me" I said.

They kept talking. I had no idea of what they were speaking about or even if they were speaking english, I just sat there drinknig my glass of water and observing everyone. I looked into a table in the other end of the room, and I saw a group of five boys talking. How they communicated with each other, and how they replied. How they laughed. What made me imagine if the joke was actually funny or were just a inside joke.

"Hey Kurt." Blaine said shaking my shoulder, bringing me back to reality. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah"

"The bell just rang, let's go."

**If you liked, leave me a review c:**


	3. Kurt's POV - I'll Help You (Part 3)

For more incredible that may appear, the rest of the day went by very fast. Even though I followed Blaine everywhere, he did not seem to care much.

"So" He asked while we were walking out the warblers common room. "What do you think? Did you liked it?"

I opened my mouth to say exactly what I thought about the meeting, how bad I felt when they just knocked me down like that, but then I looked into Blaine's eyes, what made me think twice and decided that what I was feeling it was just an incredible silly thing made up by my own subconscious.

"Y-Yeah" I stuttered.  
"Are you su—" He started to say but I interrupted him.  
"I need to get going. Take my school schedules and stuff."

I said bye to him and went to the opposite side, when I heard Blaine calling my name.

"Hey, Kurt, wait up!" He ran into my direction "I know that what you said was a lie." He said looking directly into my eyes "I saw that the meeting was hard for you today, seeing your idea shot down like that."

"Its just…" I looked down to my feet and gave a weak smile. "It's just a different energy in there. Not better or worse, just something I'll have to get used to."

"I know" He said. "And I'm going to help you through it" He said giving a warm smile to me.

"Thank you Blaine."

"No problem Kurt" He gave me a tight hug then let go.

"Now I really need to go and get those papers" I said making a pout, and walking down the hallway. Blaine looked where I was going and laughed loudly.

"And for starts" He said while he came behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders and 'softly' forcing my body to make a turn "There" He said pointing his finger to the end of the hall "Its the right way" Which made the both of us laugh. "I take you there" He complemented, extending his hand to my direction "Sure" I said taking it as we started to walk. 


	4. Blaine's POV - Schedule

**Trigger warning: Self Harm**

**I don't support self harm itself, and if you do it or is thinking about doing... don't. I'll be honest, it will help you for a short while, but on the long run, it will only make things worse and you more miserable than ever. It's not worth it. If you need anyone to talk, or vent or just chat about random things, PM me, because I am always here for you guys.**

My whole life has been scheduled. Do this, do that, never daring to stop, not even for a second. The days went by and I kept myself busy on my own way. Never providing the privilege of letting my mind stop, I was always doing something. If I wasn't at school, I was at home, if I wasnt at home I was studying, and If I wasn't studying I was trying to fall asleep at my bed, no matter the time. Hours became days, days became weeks, weeks became months, months became years and years became silence, and from the silence came the oblivion. I don't really remember how or why this all started, I just know that I realized that I was broken when I couldn't be fixed anymore. _Or at least this was what I thought._

This has become part of my routine. Wake up, attend classes, go to the rehearsal, cut, shower and bed.I don't even know why I keep on doing this. I just know that I cant help it. My mother found out after the Sadie Hawkins attack. I was at the hospital, all wrapped up with probes stuck in my veins, with the thin steady noise of my heart in the machine. When I was being examined, my doctor noticed the uncoordinated and irregular scars scattered through my torso and legs. He immediately told mom about it, since then I have to take four pills per day. Two at lunch and two at dinner, but I gave up taking them a long time ago, they only made me feel sick and with nausea. In my first week here at Dalton, I threw the whole bottle on the toilet.

I came back from the bathroom and entered the dark room that was my dorm and went straight to the drawer next to the door. I took my little opaque black bag and ran to sit on the unmade bed. It was still early, almost 10pm on the clock, I lifted my shirt's sleeve, looking at the familiar dance that the scars on my left arm did, with my other hand, I took the fingers to meet the imperfections spread on my arm. Red, pink and white. New and old. Losing myself in the complete silence of my mind. Depending on the day, I felt happy for having them, but most days, like today, just a brief look at it made me sick, wanting to vomit. I took the blade out of the bag on my lap. I held it between my fingers, watching it, as it moved through my playful fingers like it was such an innocent object, but I knew the truth, how so deadly a small object could be. I ran it through my arm. The old familiar sting piercing the skin. One. Two. Ten times. Until my sob made me look at the mess I was and stop, after that I wrapped my arm in bandages.

I stretched all my body to get the chemistry notebook under the bed, already opened on the page I was studying before having to have a pee break, I held my headphone that was already playing, as if the last 10 minutes had never happened.

**_"BRAAAAAM! BRAAAAAAAM"_**

I woke up scared, looking at my watch trembling and screaming at the table next to me.

"Ugh" I sighed putting my pillow over my head trying to stifle the noise, waiting for Kurt to turn that thing off like every morning, which didn't happen.

**_Kurt was not around today._**

Today was Kurt's dad wedding, that's why he got a letter from the principal abstentioning him from the classes of the day.

Without Kurt here, well, he has not been here for that much of time, but not hearing him talk about how Jeff almost fell on him on The Warbler's rehearsal, or how Mr. Lindsay has a huge forehead that keeps him from paying due attention to class, or just because with Kurt here I felt safe. Safe from my own mind and the thoughts that would never leave. _Safe from me._

"Ugh" I just gave a short look to the tidy bed less than two meters away from my feet, and I sighed, getting out of bed. I put on my blazer that was a bit wrinkled on the shoulders, my light brown pants up and while I was putting my shoes I just fell on my bed and groaned as I fell back to sleep.

"Hey Blainers!" I heard Wes's voice through the door with a soft knock on the wood before entering, his voice woke me up "Just wanted to check on you, you didn't show up on the first period and the guys got worried."

"I just lost track of the time" I Told him, lining up my clothes and picking up my bag from under the bed.

"Alright" He agreed suspiciously to me "Let's go Then!"

"Okie dOOOOOOOOkie" I said with a big yawn.

* * *

I've been so tired lately. I have not been able to keep my eyes open. I'm pretty sure that in the last week I've only slept three hours. Everytime I'm able to close my eyes and fall in the depths of the dream world, I end up waking up abruptly, with cold sweat running through my temples and frightened by something I could barely remember,only the memory of fear and terror, making me tense for the rest of the day. Leaving me alert and with my head on the moon at the same time. Thinking and trying not to think simultaneously. A battle I fight every day, but a fight I'll never get used to. The battle that I'm pretty sure I'll never win, only leaving scars and pain through time to time. "Mr. Anderson " the stringy voice took me out of my daydreams "As we all can see" The old man, around his fifties, with a big gray mustache falling on his lips and his glasses all blurry from the dirty and dust, doing alot of gestures with his arms and hands "You're paying alot of attention, so I believe you can answer me the question." To each word He Said, I could hear my colleagues chocking their giggles and gasps on their hands.

"Y-yes," I said "Cc-could you please repeat the question, pl-please?"

"Yes,_** sir**_" He said with disdain as a smirk began to grow on his lips. "As you probably is not aware of, we are talking about the importance of cells. As it seems you know all by by heart, you probably won't need to go to the page 352 from our book, right Mr. Anderson?"

He said looking at my table. My book was on the top of it, but closed as the big windows on the wall. The surface of the table was covered with random drawing of circles I was doing. I opened the book on the page 352. Mr. Lindsay indicated the question with his finger.

What's the role of the DNA in a cell I murmued quietly to myself. After awhile, the professor fake coughed and said "So? Whats the answer Mr Anderson"

"I-I think" I started, but I stopped at the same time, closed my eyes, breathed slowly through my nose and started again. I had no idea of the answer. "I don't know" I said and quickly added "sir" before Mr. Lindsay could give me crap for not say the thing. "I just dont know"

"That's what I thought" he said turning his attention to the rest of the class "Now, any of you gentleman could answer this question for me?"

I saw Connor's huge head shaking on my side, with his right hand trying to clumsily fix his glasses that were too big for him while freneticly shaking his left hand that was all the way up. "SIR, HERE, I KNOW!"

"Anyone else" He asked but only the sound of the eletric fan answered as he sighed "Please go on Mr. Adams"

"The DNA provides the information to make proteins for the cell" Connor happily answered.

"That's correct" The professor said while he walked up to his table babbling about cells. As he kept on talking, my mind went away again.

* * *

"Hey where you going? The dinner room is that way, man!" I heard David say over the bell ring, as he touched my shoulder to make me stop walking and turn around to face him, laughing from a stupid joke Andy just did. "I'm just…" I replied to him scratching my hair and throwing my old smile to him "I'm not feeling well, Davie, I'm going back to my room."  
"Come on Blaine, we will be hanging after dinner, and you always come up with excuses" He told me seriously but quickly changed his expression with a big smile "It will be fun, I promise" He said putting his arm wrapping my shoulder leading me through the hall.

* * *

When the night came, I went back to my dorm, tired and worn, with my cheeks hurting from laughing for hanging out with the guys. Wes's brother had sneaked in two bottles of vodka last month, Nick and Jeff insisted to hide it, and with the beautiful news that The Warblers would make the presentation on Valentine's Day at Breadsticks WITH remuneration, we decided to celebrate. We spent the whole afternoon and early evening playing cards at David's bedroom. We were all pretty crazy, laughing at every little thing and talking in the long lost language of the drunks. Singing like crazy and fighting using our shoes as swords and eating chips, which tasted like heaven.

When I entered the room, I tripped on my own feet, bumping and knocking down everything that was on Kurt's bed. When I was lying there I noticed for the first time the notebook positioned next to my arm. It was his sketchbook. He spent hours and hours on it. I would lose myself in the smooth movements of the pencil, with graphite noise scratching the thin paper. I tried to change to a standing position, but my body was very tired, so I took the notebook, and raised it, parallel to my face. The blank page, was drawn a huge red heart with an arrow passing through it. In the center of the drawing was written down in bold and legible letters "Kurt + Blaine" which made me laugh,_ it was so sweet but so strange at the same time. Kurt likes me? I mean, I am me_, it doesn't make any sense. My laughter continued, I was not sure about what I was laughing, could be by how high the ceiling was and how cool was its shapes and how all the colors turned black because of the lack of light inside, which made me overthrow the notebook right on my face hitting my nose, which made me laugh more, laughed so much that tears began to fall from my eyes. I laid on the hard ground, for a while, stretching my body to reach my phone, but I ended up fainting from exhaustion along the way, sleeping on the floor for the night.

**There's a part on this fic where I re-used a part I wrote on my other fanfiction on my other account, 'cause it fit really well here and I thought 'why not?!". Please leave me a review so I know if I should keep on writting this or not, and because it'd make me very happy c:**


	5. Kurt's POV - What Did You expect?

**_Trigger warning: Mentions to self harm; Panic Attack. Please leave me a review so I know if I should keep on writing or not._**

_I've learnt in my short time here on Dalton that when Blaine wants to be left alone and keep his distance from the world, I should respect it and don't interfere or else I'd meet the side of Blaine that I never knew it existed, at least that was what Wes warned me the last time Blaine lost his mind. And I respected that, or at least, I used to respect that._

I was going back to my dormitory, my head was killing me, so I decided to skip the second period and the rest of the day, take some painkillers and just fall into the bed until dinner time.

I stopped in front of the door, fishing the key on my pant's pocket. I opened the old door with only a turn of the key, when I walked up in the room, I found a shrunken Blaine looking through his drawer, when he noticed me he let out a small gasp through his lips, putting his hand on his chest.

"Oh I'm so sorry Blaine, I thought you were at class and just I'm so sorry" I said on the same breath.

"No, it's fine, don't worry" On mid-sentence, I noticed some red stains on Blaine's white shirt, right on his sleeve. _Something is not right_. I tried to reach out to grab Blaine's wrist without thinking twice.

"Fuck." Blaine just swore?_ Blaine just swore_.

"What's wrong Blaine" I slowly asked while Blaine pulled his arm back, cradling it against his chest, his eyes wide and watering. Only there I noticed the dry tear streams on his cheek and how tired he looked. How small he looked in front of me. _So… helpless._ A word that I've never thought I'd use it to describe Blaine.

"Blaine" I said it again with my voice failing me. "What's going on? what's up with your arm?"

"It's nothing" He said hiding his arms on his back. "It's just some pen stain"

"B-But you're bleeding." I pointed out, almost screaming, watching the red liquid across Blaine's fingers. "You're fucking bleeding"

"It's nothing. Just… trust me." He said wrapping his fingers on his shirt and making eye contact for the first time since I entered the room.

"But Blain—"

"Just… please Kurt" He said, looking down on his feets. "Please" barely making a noise.

"Blaine" I whispered trying to grab his hands.

"Fuck Kurt" Blaine shouted, getting away from my touch "Leave me alone"

"O-okay" I said hesitating as I left the room.

* * *

When I came back from dinner, I found a sleeping Blaine wrapped on his sheets and a room filled with complete darkness.

I went directly to my bed and without even changing, I fell down on the mattress, hugging my pillow tightly. I was so tired that I thought that the time my head touched the soft skin of my pillow, I'd just faint and wake up only on the next day. But my mind kept working. Not stopping for a bit. Went between images of everything that happened today, but always stopping on the same take. _Blaine._

I turned around to face the boy's bed, the darker spot on the darkness when I noticed for the first a soft whimp coming from the same spot. It sounded like Blaine was crying but trying to make no noise, stifling the tears and sniffles with all his strength.

_He wants to be left alone_ I reminded myself, Blaine shout repeating on my mind like an old record, but the whimper only got louder and more broken as the minutes went by.

"He needs me" I whispered soundless to myself trying to shut the voice inside my head telling me to leave him be.

I got up from my bed and followed the sound of the whimper. I lift the sheets up and got down on the big blanket. I wrapped the small boy on my arms, resting my head on his neck, closing my eyes and getting used to the warmth of his body.

"K-kurt?" Blaine whispered, or at least tried to, his voice was hoarse from crying, so weak that I could barely understand it, his whole body was shaking "What you doing?"

"I've read somewhere that when someone is having a panic attack, you should help them by remembering the person about how unique and special they are."

_"W-what? I-I'm n-n-not hav—-"_

"I know you are Blaine" I mumbled on his ear "When I was at McKinley, I used to have it all the time. I always ended up hiding in the bathroom because I was embarrassed by my own tears. I didn't want them to think I was weak, you know?" I whispered more to myself than for him, holding back the tears I didn't even noticed that was already falling I added "I know what a panic attack looks like. I'm just doing what I'd want someone to do it for me when I was in a bad place." I said, closing my eyes, while hugging Blaine tightly "You're my best friend Blaine, I don't know what's going on, but… but I'm here"

"Th-thanks" I heard him say, taking my hand on his own and squeezing our hands together.

"No problem" I hold him back into my chest tightly, relaxing my body against him.

**###**

"Kurt" I heard a voice calling me softly, sounding weak and shaky, I could feel his breath blowing in my face. "You awake?"

"Hey" I whispered trying to open my eyes but I just couldn't, I haven't been sleeping since Dad's Wedding, and this week has been fulled with exams which has been stressing me out, and just to add to the madness, Blaine's acting weird as hell. I haven't been able to sleep a wink. I opened my eyes with great effort, but my eyelids shutted immediately.

"Hi" I could hear the smile on his voice but it didn't last. "C-can you talk?"

"Yes, of course" I said trying to suppress a yawn with my right hand as I blindly groped through the dresser's surface looking for the lamp's switch.

"No, no" I heard Blaine saying "just, can we stay like this? it's easier to talk"

"Okay" I said "What do you wanna talk about it?"

"I don't know" He admitted "Anything to be honest"

"So, what's your favorite color?"

"I don't know" He said surprised by the random question with a smile estamped on his face while thinking "Blue?"

"Why that?" I asked outta curiosity

"I love the sky, it can change but no matter what it still looks beautiful"

"That's deep!" I said mocking friendly him."What about yours" He asked me

"I know it might sound incredible gay-teen-cliché but…" I laughed while playing with his fingers "Pink"

"Really?" He asked surprised and repeating my own question "Why that?"

"I don't know" I mumbled "Maybe because when I was younger I used to love to be a rebel, you know? While the boys played with balls, I used go play with teddy bears, when they watched DragonBall Z, I watched Powerpuff Girls, when they only wore green and blue, I used to wear pink"

"Sassy " Blaine genuinely let out a laugh through his mouth.

"I try" I joked in a convinced tone, joining him on the laugh.

"Just" He started but stopped after awhile, bitting his lower lip "Thanks for being my friend" I smiled, gently stroking his shoulder with my thumb. "And thanks for not pressing me to talk"

"No problem" I said "I just want you okay. When you're ready to talk, I'll be there"

"Th-thanks" We stood like that the whole night, throwing conversation about random things, while I played with his curly hair and cuddled together. Around 2am I noticed that Blaine had finally fell asleep, his breath was calm and had a steady pace. I couldn't sleep so I just watched the boy next to me sleep, amazed by how beautiful and peaceful he looked, even though his face was marked by tear streams and his eyes were red with deep dark circles under them, which made me wonder what the hell was going on with Blaine, why he was bleeding earlier and lied about it? What triggered his panic attack? Did a family member died? Did someone said something bad to him and I didn't know about? Did Mr. Lindsay attacked him again? or it was only bad flash backs?

I didn't know, but one thought floated into my mind, clear as water._Self-Harm. _It would make sense, but Blaine wouldn't do that, or would he? I know I've considered it last year, but the thought of the pain and the blood made me back down. But Blaine, Blaine was different, he is proud of who he is and he is the stronger person I've ever met, would he have considered too, but unlike me he actually carried on with the thought?

I undisturbedly dropped his hand from mine, and slowly took it to his wrist. He was wearing a light-blue long sleeve pajamas, with forms of white circles around the soft fabric. When I was about to lift the sleeve up with my fingers, my heart beating rapidly on my chest, my breath thick and fast and my hand shaking, Blaine turned around, surprising me, which made me give up. I've decided t do it later, because I was pretty sure Blaine had woken up, but I ended up falling asleep and not being able to go on with my plan.


	6. Blaine's POV - Sectionals: Part 1

_"I wish I'd have known, I wish I saw the signs - don't let it be too late, call 0900 052 5922"_ was written on a giant sign on the road.

I hated when people said that, because that is bullshit. It's easy to realize when someone is depressed, I dont know if it is only easy for me because I've been like this since I can remember, but I'm able to know if someone is depressed by only exchanging a couple of words with them. I believe that once you get depressed, you forget how to speak, you just lose it. It's hard to talk when you're depressed, that's above and beyond everything else, and it's not only a mental issue, its not only something messing with your brain chemistry, its a physical thing. It's physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out of it. They don't come out smooth the way normal people's words do. So you just keep quiet, hoping no one will speak to you. But even though you don't want someone to try and start a conversation with you, deep down inside of your mind, you still have that burning desire, that someone will notice how broken you really are, that someone will try to help you out and make things alright again. But after years of waiting, I know this just doesn't happen. People just dont care for free.

"Honey, call me when it's done, okay?" Mom said, touching my shoulder. "I'll drive you back to school" she added with a tiny smile, twisting her lips.

"Okay, mom" I said, leaving the car. I was dressed with my Dalton's blue hoodie. I walked down the pavement, at that time, the street wasnt that busy. Just one or two people every now and then. I entered into a 5 level building that was quite small, it was a mini psychiatric hospital. When I passed through the lobby, the security guard greeted me. He was immersed in a conversation with the cleaning lady, about how his wife had been a big pain in the ass in the past few weeks.

I walked to the elevator down the hall, every step I took, a thin, sharp noise echoed through the lonely walls.

I entered the small cubicle, pressing the button that had a small drawing of the number two in Roman letters.

After a few seconds, I was on the second floor, I walked by a very polished floor, that it made very difficult to create friction between my shoes and the floor, until the white door that had the number six, printed in the middle of it.

"Hey Blaine, buddy" my shrink, greeted me with a big smile. "You're early! Come on in"

I entered the small room, the walls were beige and the floor covered with a light-white paint, it didnt have much inside, just a few chairs and a small closet glued to the wall.

When I entered the room, I went straight to the chair I always sat for the past three years.

I was the second one to arrive, the first one was a boy who I had never seen before, he was sitting on a chair opposite mine, with a startled look spread across his face, staring at his feet. He was a small boy, he had black short hair and dark skin. He was wearing a black jacket with a dark sweatpants.

I grabbed my cell phone, waiting for everyone else to arrive.

I always lied to the guys, I used to say I had a job to help to pay the school bills, I said I was my mother's friend's daughter babysitter on tuesdays, because I was ashamed of telling them truth. They were my friends,_ I was scared that once they knew the truth, they would treat me differently._

I hated to go to therapy, which made me start to hate tuesdays. Every tuesday of the month, I had to go to the group therapy. Therapy in group It's the worst kind of therapy, cause instead of sharing your thoughts with only one person, you're now sharing it with another six, and every single person in there knows when you're lying, _cause they know what is like to have to lie to stop feeling. To have to lie to everyone else that you're fine just to get through the day._

"So, everyone is here?" Mr. Harries asked putting his hands together with a small "thud", bringing me back to reality, only now noticing that everyone had arrived. He looked around, there were six chairs including his, forming a small circle in the middle of the room, everyone was there. He took his time looking to each and everyone of us in the circle, making sure we were all there, trying to catch a glimpse of anything in our eyes, making sure we are okay, before we opened our mouths.

"Let's start it then!"

I always sat next to Santana. She was a small latina girl, she had long black hair and dark eyes. She always wore clothes that accentuated the shape of her body. The first thing you gotta know about Santana is that she's brutally honest, if she thinks you suck, she'll tell you, if you're bullshitting someone, she'll tell you, if she just doesn't like you, she'll make sure you know it.

She has always been very nice to me, I think I could even dare to call her my friend. I know her since when I had to stay here in the hospital wing, where the cuckoos rested, as Santana used to call it, three years ago.

My doctor said I had to stay here for eight days in observation. At that time, I ended up in here, because I didn't left my room for nine days in a roll, my parents were traveling, so I stayed at home with the maid. she was an immigrant , barely spoke the language, but she was very nice. Everyday she left a plate with lunch and dinner by my door, but I never ate it, I was too tired to move, so I stayed in my bed, watching the walls for days. On the 9th day, she called the 911, and they took me to the hospital. I was 12 at the time, so I stayed at the teenage division of the hospital, at that time, Santana was the only other teenager in there, she was one year older than me, so we became friends by the circumstances we were put on, we only had each other, since then, we kept our relationship on the same level, always having each other's back. She was there for me when I was getting depressed after the Saddie Hawkins dance incident, I was there when her dad left her family with some waitress that used to work on his restaurant, the best in town, the breadsticks. She was there when I changed schools and I was there when she thought she was losing herself _again._

Between the rest of the group, she was known as Santana "diabla" Lopez, because she was always a bitch to everyone in the group. I told ther about that and she got pretty bummed about it, but she hid behind her hard shell, making mean comments and jokes about how they were jealous of her sexiness, pretending not to care. _But I knew better._

I really wanted to ask her why she was nice to me, but I never did. I didnt want her to suddenly hate me. It feels nice to have a friend that I don't have the need to explain what's going on inside my head, because she knows, she just... knows it. _Maybe that's the reason. She needs a friend who won't judge her, she needs me as much as I need her._

"How was your week, Debbie?" asked to the girl sitting on his left side. She was tall, with smooth light skin, she always wore her hair in a ponytail. Today, Debbie was wearing a short pink dress, that didn't flattered her body. She was very overweight, at the end of every session, her dresses always ended up with big sweat marks under the arms and breasts. "It was alright" she said, looking for the rest of us with a smile playing on the ends of her lips "Luke asked me out to watch his brother's band on Friday" Luke was the guy she had a crush on since last year, every session she talked about him. I was happy for her, happiness radiated from her words, captivating everyone in the room. As she spoke, the rest of the room cheered.

"That's nice to hear" Tyler said, touching her shoulder showing support "So that's why you are not coming to my game then uh?" He added with a shocked face spread through his features. Tyler was a big guy, he always wore the uniform of his school's football team. He had muscles bigger than my head. His voice had a high-pitched tone, creating contrast with his huge body everytime he opened his mouth. Tyler and Debbie were best friends.

"Fuck off Ty" Debbie said rolling her eyes.

"Thats what she said" He replied with a low voice, laughing.

"What about you Blaine? How was your week?" asked, looking directly at me.

"Uh, it was alright" I said, looking down to my knees "th-there's this guy, actually, he's my new roommate and-"

"Blaine's going to get some!" Santana interrupted me, making a fist with her hands and putting it next to her mouth, pressing her tongue in the inside part of her cheek, in a blowjob motion, making everyone in the room break down in laughter, which made me blush like hell. "You go lover boy" She added, winking at me.

"Let him speak, Santana" Mr. Harries said, censoring her.

"We're just friends" I said "He was having a bad time at his old school, so, I'm helping him out"

"That's nice" said to me "How was your week Eric?"

We spent the rest of our fifty minutes discussing about how we've been feeling if something happened. To share our emotions, helping to bound. I hated that part, we all did in reality. It was difficult to open up and put the way you feel out like that, in the open. It was embarrassing and it freaked me out.

* * *

"Bye, Blainers" Santana said to me, opening the door to leave.

"Bye" I replied, but she had already left. I took my phone from my pocket, when I was typing my mom's number, mr. Harries called my name.

"Blaine, could you come here" he was holding a small glass of water in his right hand and on the left, he was holding an orange bottle of dopamine.

knew about my "habit" of not taking pills, since I was twelve, I came here for observation many times, but since I entered Dalton, I hadn't come back. So every tuesday I was obligated to take my pills in front of him and promise that I'm "trying" to get better, so I wont stumble on my old self again. Which is kind of a stupid promise, because It's really hard to feel and be normal when everything you do screams not normal.

So today I took a couple, a lot of dopamine. To get back to school I have to do drugs, it's kind of ironic, dont you think? But I don't complain, I don't say anything at all. I just keep quiet, pretending im alright. I just put the pills on my tongue, drink a little of water from the plastic cup that handed to me and went back to school.

* * *

"Where were you?" I heard a voice calling my name, running to catch up with myself, it was Kurt "I've been looking for you the whole afternoon."

"Yea, I was babysitting" I felt Kurt's gaze piercing the right side of my face "Its a part time job" I added looking at him.

"Mind officially blown" he said making a noise explosion with his lips, putting his hands on the side of his face, opening his fingers slowly and moving it. Making me laugh. "You just vanished. I got worried" he whispered in my direction, looking down to his feet then looking back at me, with a big smile starting to spread on his face, "and I could use some company to finish" he pretended to cough adding the words 'start Actually' between the coughs . "My biology project"

"Oh," I murmured, tapping my forehead "Mr. Lindsay works are stupidly long"

"I know," Kurt said forming a grump expression on his face. "Believe me I know"

"Come on, roomie" I said, placing my arm beside my body, giving Kurt a nod to hold it. We went directly to our room. Kurt asked me if he could use my laptop, and I agreed. While he did his biology work, I wuld research on my ipod song list for songs to sing at sectionals. We spent the whole afternoon researching.

"Fuck" I said, making Kurt jump in his sit, next to me.

"What's wrong?" He asked, putting his glasses down and looking at me. I had given up looking for songs half an hour ago, I was lying on my bed, goofing around, throwing a football up and down, to hit the ceiling everytime I threw it up, and encouraging him to finish his biology homework.

"We missed dinner" I said putting on my best performance, I got up from my bed, putting my right hand on chest, pretending I was about to cry "WE MISSED DINNER!" I fell down on my knees, holding my hair with my hands, with a despaired look spread through my face. Kurt Smiled and applauded, he turned his chair to me, crossing his legs and begining to speak with a serious voice "great performance indeed" which made me bow "but its missing the emotion. I'd have to say that seven its a good grade for it" He couldn't speak seriously through the entire sentence, he broke down laughing. Pretending to be completely shocked by the grade, I picked up my pillow and attacked him with it, making him move his hands to cover his face with them, he took the pillow in the air, before it was able to hit his face, attacking back to me, hitting my chin. Kurt was laughing out loud. I loved that sound. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside "Damn you critics!" I said lying on the ground.

"Now let me finish this," he said putting his glasses back on.

I went back to my bed, When I was about offer help for Kurt, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I Reached to pick it up in my pants. I unlocked it, and Santana's face was stamped on the screen.

**Santana Lopez - fri, six seconds ago:** wanna sext loverboy?

**(Me) Blaine Anderson - fri, just now:** what in the fuck does that even mean?

**Santana Lopez - fri, just now:** Sexy texting, OMG, from what era are you from?

**(Me) Blaine Anderson - fri, just now:** I'm gay Santana, you know that.

**Santana Lopez - fri, just now:** that never stopped me boo ;)

**(Me) Blaine Anderson - fri, just now:** ha ha, fuck off San

**Santana Lopez - fri, just now:** u dont need to ask twice ;)

**(Me) Blaine Anderson - fri, just now:** ffs Santana. Arent you dating that Chuck guy or whatever his name is?

**Santana Lopez - fri, just now:** Sex is not dating, hot stuff.

**(Me) Blaine Anderson - fri, just now:** if you say so ;)

**Santana Lopez - fri, just now:** soooo, what about you? Having a new boyfriend and now even telling Auntie Tana , im so hurt u didn't tell me :'(

(**Me) Blaine Anderson - fri, just now:** we are just friends San, dont need to get that excited about it

**Santana Lopez - fri, just now:** just a friend or JUUUUUST a friend? If you know what I mean!

**(Me) Blaine Anderson - fri, just now:** its not like that, he's just my buddy. Nothing more.

**Santana Lopez - fri, just now:** you're no fun at all anderson :p

**(Me) Blaine Anderson -fri, just now:** :*

I ended up falling asleep, the next day would be a long day, it was the day of the sectionals, where all of of the glee clubs from around the city fighted and vied for a spot in the regionals that would be in exactly two months, and me being the lead singer, I should rest well enough, I didnt want to disappoint the guys, they're putting their whole faith on me. I just couldn't let them down.

I opened my eyes, foggy wrapped my eyes shut, sleep hovering on them. I looked around, the room was still dark, only with the clock's red light shining in the darkness. It marked 3:14 am. Through the next ten minutes, I tried to go back to sleep, but I ended up failing miserably. I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing, trying to let my mind completely empty, but nothing worked. When I realized I couldn't sleep, I began to freak out, I had to sleep or else I could blow the presentation later today, my breathing became more dense and fast, I could feel the sweat on my forehead go down to my eyebrows, I got up from my bed and went to the bathroom, trying not to make a noise, Kurt was deeply asleep, I didnt want to wake him up. I went straight to the sink and splashed some water on my face. My hands were shaking, so I held tightly on the edge of the sink, trying to make them stop. I hit two weak slaps on my face. trying to calm myself and make me focus. I could feel the warm tear falling through my cheeks. I didnt know exactly why I was crying. My heart was filled with consternation and fear. I was lost inside my mind. I didnt know what to do. When I was able to calm myself down, I heard a soft knock on the door behind me.

"Blaine, you there" kurt voice filled my ears "are you okay?"

"Yea, Im fine" I replied, unlocking and opening the door, I saw Kurt, standing next to the fore with his pillow on his arm. His hair was a mess, all tangled.

"Are you okay?" he asked again, interrupted by a loud yawn from himself.

"Yea, I'm fine" I said, flashing a smile at the boy in front of me "go back to bed Kurtie, we have a really long day ahead" He touched my right shoulder with his hand and pressed a little, sending me a smile, then he went straight to his bed.

"goodnight-or-whatever-the-time-that-is-now"

"nightie" I replied, covering me with the green blanket that I used to use when it was cold. I picked up my cell phone, fitting the earbuds in my ear, I pressed the play button with my thumb, laying my head on the pillow, closing my eyes and trying to sleep, surrounded by the soft song playing through my earbuds. Sleeping at last.

* * *

{Text part in **BLACK (BOLD)**}

**Next part: SECTIONALS! How will Blaine and Santana react to it? Blaine has no idea Santana is on a rival glee club and vice versa. also, kurt doesnt know that Blaine and Santana are friends! All on the next chapter, keep tuned.**

**Also, please leava a review c:**


	7. Blaine's POV - Sectionals: Part 2

**Blaine's POV**

"Fuck" I swear under my breath as I throw my ukulele over my bed. When I moved to the school dorms, I had to choose between one of the intruments I had lying around in my home's bedroom,_ I ended up choosing the ukulele, because it was small and compact, but still had an optimal sound to the ears._ Stooping down to pick up from the floor the sheet music that had fallen under my bed. I layed on the ground, stretching my arm to the lone piece of paper on the floor that it was next to a pair of my old red all-star shoes and an empty brown package of M &amp; M's.

"what you doing?" I heard a familiar voice calling me, I knead the sheet with my hand, holding it into a fist, as I tried to stand up. At the moment that I was almost out of my bed limits, I felt a cramp in my calf, making me get up abruptly, hitting my head on the bed's wood platform. "for fucks sake" I swear once again, leading my right hand to the top of my head, rubbing the hair on the spot where it was sore.

"What's up?" I looked up at Kurt, he was in front of the bedroom's door, with his hands positioned on his hips, trying to hold back his laughter.

"I'm practicing" I replied, smoothing out the sheet of paper I was holding tightly in my hand, showing the boy in front of me the sheet music with small black notes printed all over it. "I'm just" I started saying as I sat down on the unmade bed behind me, grabbing my ukulele and positioning it on my chest. "I'm not hitting that note. The one in the beginning of the chorus, you know?" I played the G major chord , playing the progression of notes after it, singing the lyrics of the song over the smooth rhythm, but stopping at the same time for being out of tune. "Without it, the song ain't the same" I moaned loudly out of frustration, falling on my back and covering my face with the sheet paper. "Argh"

"Hey, I can help you out if you want" Kurt offered shifting the weight of his body, resting it on the other leg.

"Really?" I replied excitedly, getting out of the bed with a tiny jump.

"Yea, its not that hard" he said, sitting down on his bed "can you...?" He asks, pointing his index finger to the intrument on my hand, I replied, playing the sequence of chords printed on the paper on my thigh. He opened his mouth, and a beautiful sound came out of it, making me remeber the first time I heard him sing like that, _he sounds like an angel, _I remember thinking, when we were at this same place, me with my small and beaten ukulele, and him singing with me. Every note that came out of his mouth was flawless, after a month of living with him and listening to him sing all the time, I still hadn't get used to how beautiful his voice sounded.

"What?" He asked, with a suspicious look printed all over his face. I had stopped playing and was staring at his features.

"You're beautiful" _I murmured without thinking. Looking at how his hair fell on his eyebrow, creating a perfect mess, how his eyes looked stunning with the soft dim light of the sun, giving a new glow to his gorgeous blue eyes, that drove me to the point where I couldn't take my eyes off him. He had a smile that could make my whole world melt with a single glance. I was falling in love. I could feel my heart beat faster and faster commanded by that simple thought._

"What?" He repeated the same question, only this time his voice was out of pitch, way too high, it sounded like me when my voice was changing because of puberty, his whole face flushed bright pink, red leaked into his cheeks as he nervously smiled and bit his lip, looking down to his feet.

" Your voice " I added quickly, _I could feel my face go red as well._ I looked away nervously, trying to get hid of the red glow that came over my face. "Your voice is beautiful" I reapeated to give emphasis.

"Oh" he said slowly, his voice breaking in the end of the small word that came out of his lips, with a bit of disappointment on his tone, which made my heart shiver, _I didn't want to disappoint Kurt. I didn't want to be the one to make him sad._

"Itsnotthatyourenotbeautifulitsjustthat-" I started to say, word coming over one another, my tongue working fast, making the sound that was coming out of my mouth make absolutely no sense.

"Blaine" Kurt interrupted me, bring me to meet his eyes. He had a tiny smile playing on his lips "its alright"

I smiled back, relieved that he wasn't mad at me. The fear of letting Kurt upset leaving my heart bit by bit. "Let's practice then" He said placing both hands on his lap, making a hollow sound when his palm touched his pants.

**xxx**

I was in the backstage, The Warblers and I would be the next group to perform. _I won't lie,_ I was very nervous, I spent a couple of hours practicing non stop with Kurt. He managed to teach me how to sing the note that I was having trouble in hitting it, but even with that, I was still worried that when it comes to the crunch, I wouldn't be able to nail it, resulting on us not being classified to the regionals, disappointed the boys, whom had put their faith in me.

I was by myself, walking from one side to the other behind the big blue curtain that reached the ceiling. Before each presentation, I liked to be left alone, to be able to focus properly. I quietly murmured the lyrics, replaying every word, every harmony, every change in my brain. Every pause, every increase of the octave, every single note, all over again, I looked up, observing the other members also getting ready, each in their own way. Nick crouched on the ground drumming with both hands on the wooden floor as Jeff was stretching his arms beside him, both with very serious faces, Nick had his brow furrowed, his eyebrows were so close together that one could think that they were glued together, forming a small dimple on top of it, Jeff situation wasn't much different from the boy by his side. Wes and David were going through the harmonies with Dominic, Steve and Eric while Trent and Thad marked the pace of the song with soft claps behind them. There were also members of the other glee clubs scattered around the room, a group of elderly singers, who had just performed their song, celebrating a well done performance, hugging and shaking hands with each other, whereas the other group formed by Kurt's former colleagues, were preparing themselves, running from one side to the other, their footfalls creating a nervous rhythm as they passed by me.

"What you doing here?!" I felt a hand lock me on a white wall behind me, taking us out of view, the wall painting was rustic and looked like it needed to be repainted because it was already peeling. With the abrupt and violent movement taking me out of my thoughts, I hit my head against the wall, looking into the eyes of the aggressor.

"Santana?" I asked, looking into the latina girl's dark eyes, while she kept her hands firmly around my arm. "What the fuck you doing here?" finally realizing the black and white dress with gold ornaments she was wearing, the same dress that the rival group wore.

"I could ask you the exactly same thing _pretty face_" she said, looking me in the eye, giving a light slap on my left cheek "Are you following me Blaine?"

"Of course not" I said defending myself, trying to dodge from her hands, but she was stronger than me "San, for godsake" I added "I will sing out there, like, right now, and you're messing all my hair" I told her, showing her the best 'bitch face' face I could think of. I spent literally forty minutes fixing my hair before coming here, my hair gel bottle was empty so I had to go out and ask to everyone around the dorms for some, I went through way too much to let Santana blow it off like this, _hell no_. She eventually began to think about the situation as a whole, easing some of the pressure on my triceps.

"Wait, are yo-" she started but was interrupted by a second voice.

"Santana?" I heard Kurt's voice come from behind the girl that was holding me against the wall, she turned her head sharply to the place where the sound came, firstly, returning to hold my arms with all her strength by instinct, but relieving the pressure on my body seconds later, releasing me from her grip. "What you doing?"

"Nothing much, _porcelain_" she said, putting her hands on her hips and raising her right eyebrow, looking him in the eye. "Just having a small friendly chat with _shortstack_ over here"

_"Porcelain?" _I repeated out loud to myself, confused by the nickname assigned to Kurt.

"Yep" Santana said, looking at me, then pointing her index finger casually to Kurt. "Haven't you seen _lady face's _skin right here?"

"Don't call him that, San" I said with a harsh tone of reproof toward the girl, I loved Santana, even when she was being a bitch, I loved that about her, but sometimes she went too far. When she got nervous, her sassiness would increase, increasing the witty coments with it, but this was Kurt we were talking about and _I felt the need to protect him. To support him._

"Don't call me that" Kurt said at the same time that I did, making our voices sound like a big echo from each other.

"Th-that was super creepy"She said out of blue, breaking the silence that fell between us a few moments earlier, placing her hands on her hips, moving her eyes from me, to Kurt and then back at me again. Santana laughed, but it sounded like she was mocking both of us. "And kind of sexy, I must admit it" she whispered loudly in my direction, I could feel my face burning and acquire colors from a palette of warm colors all together. I looked towards Kurt, who looked away to his feet, I could notice that his neck was beginning to blush bright red, the reddish color was rising to his face in a fast pace, seeping into his cheeks.

"Shut the hell up" I said, pushing her slowly with my shoulder in a playful way, however Santana retaliated, pushing me back, making me almost lose my balance and fall into the ground.

Kurt just watched the scene, I could feel his gaze hovering on us "You guys... Are friends?"Kurt asked, with a suspicious look spread around his face with a pinch of surprise printed in his eyes, the color in his cheeks had already returned to the normal, but this time the question was made towards me.

"Y-yes" I said, hesitating, looking out to Santana for help, I didn't know if I was in the right to expose her like that, we never went through a situation like that after all, I didn't know if she wanted other people to know about our friendship, _if I was her, I wouldn't want people to know what I was friends with me. _However she seemed to not have heard a single word that had just come out from Kurt's mouth, she had not paid attention to Kurt's question, nor in my answer.

"You sing?" She asked, her voice was confused and her face lost in shock, opening her mouth while putting her palm on her chest. "Why you didn't tell me that!"

"Judging by your uniform" I murmured, pointing to the dress glued to her body "I believe you didn't tell me either" She looked between me and Kurt, finally paying attention to our uniform, the same blue blazer with the striped tie around our neck, the realization beginning to spread across her face.

"Wow! That will be a show worthy watching,"she said, pointing her finger to me then quickly pointing to Kurt next "Shame on me for not bringing some pop corn and tomatoes, _B-Rabbit__**¹ **_" I wasn't sure if she was being genuine, or just trying to attack our nerves, either way, she had achieved her goal.

I could feel that my face had turned into a frown, Santana comments had made me mad and upset, she never acted like this with me and I didn't know why she was starting to do that _now, _when I opened my mouth to tell her to _back off _Kurt opened his mouth "Listen here, _Satan"_ Kurt said, nearly spitting the nickname given for the girl from his mouth, his tone of voice was covered by a rage that had been bubbling since the first witty comment of the conversation "We are h-"

A red light began to shine upon our heads, flashing every two seconds. Kurt was interrupted by a high-pitched sound, followed by an electronic voice that warned about the next presentation that would begin in five minutes, for the participants start to prepare themselves on the stage. I held Kurt's hand, pulling him in the direction of the backstage, taking him out of Santana's vision, before he lost his mind and jumped on her. I turned my head to her, sending a shy smile in her direction, I could be mad at her, but she was still my friend..._ I hoped so_ . She winked at me and whispered 'break a leg' under her breath, turning her back on us and going to the opposite direction. We walked through the blue and green curtain, stopping at the positions that had already been setted up during during the rehearses through the last couple of weeks.

"You and Santana" Kurt murmured, placing both hands behind his body, swinging it in a mild pace, from one side to the other. "Th-thats" he started to say, then stopped, trying to find an adjective that fitted well the unusual couple. "That's definitely different"

"Yea" I agreed, I didn't know exactly how I was supposed to answer that statement. Santana and I, we weren't exactly what people would expect to form a bound, to become friends. In reality, we weren't that much alike. _At all. _Santana was really out there, she was really loud and very sarcastic, she had a very unique kind of sense of humor. She was really straight forward, making witty comments all the time, especially at the wrong times like two minutes ago with me and Kurt at the backstage, making people upset with no apparently reason,_ maybe she did that because she had been hurt and she didn't quite know how to deal with, so she hurt other people _so that in the end,_ she wouldn't feel so alone or like the only one. _ She was very beautiful and had this amazing body, she was pretty much aware of how sexy she was, _and she used it for her advantage._ Making boys fall for her with a simple stare._ I wasn't like that. _I was more of a shy type of guy, I was very quiet and I enjoyed the silence. I would make pop culture references every now and then and sarcastic inputs if needed. I didnt make friends very easily,_ damn, _I only started to talk with other people at school on my second year at Dalton, when Wes saw me in lunch, sat by myself in one of the big grey tables using my phone, drinking from a small box of milk. He came to speak to me, asking me to go and sit with him and his friends. From hanging out with the guys, I ended up entering the school's glee club and becoming one of the lead singers in there. We had very different personalities, but we were friends and I appreciated that alot.

I stopped and faced the boy standing next to me, his gaze lost in thought, looking at the large transparent yellow curtain that was stuck on the roof, which extended from the ceiling to the polished wood floor of the stage. You could see the audience through the curtain, only shapes of scattered heads and bodies, talking, walking, moving.

Kurt opened his mouth to say something, but then he closed it, thinking twice about what he was about to say.

"Two minutes for the presentation" the metallic sound repeated itself on the huge megaphones spreaded around the ceiling, warning about the presentation both for the groups and the audience.

"Santana doesnt play fair, Blaine, remember that."He finally said, cradling firmly my fingers with your hand, a determined look beginning to dominate his expression. "Whatever her plan is, whatever she's trying to get you to do, trying to get out of you, it wont end well"

"It isn't like that" I replied, softening my gaze upon the taller boy beside, trying to make Kurt understand, through a simple stare what I understood. "Trust me, Kurt, she's not that bad"

"I'm just warning you" even though his tone was harsh, his eyes were soft, he truly were only looking out for me, dropping my hand, putting his own hands in the pocket of the brown pants he was wearing"She's a stone cold bitch"

"She isn't this heartless, Kurt" I said with a serious tone, stroking lightly my wrist involuntarily with my finger, staring at the floor that had a small white duct tape glued to it, about three meters away from me, then turning my body, looking at him severely "Have some faith and she will grow on you eventually, you just need to let her in and embrace her the way she is" I said at last, maybe more to myself than to Kurt, as the curtain began to rise,being able to see the people seated in the front row, The Warblers cstarted to create the harmonies of the song, starting by the bass, then entering the beatbox, I took a deep breath, straightened my Blazer, then brought my hands to my hair, putting the loose hair strands in place, I gave a quick glance at my side, noting that Kurt bit his lip, clutching the back of his left hand, with his thumb and right index finger, his body trembled slightly, I closed my eyes and sighed slowly and loudly, whispering "courage" quietly, but loud enough for Kurt to hear. before I took a step forward to the center of the stage, I could see from the corner of the eye the smile that began to spread on the boy's face, making me smile as the harmony to lead my steps, I opened my mouth, letting the sound come out of it, beggining to have shape and harmonize with the background voices.

**Glossary:**

***¹:Reference to Eminem's 8 mile movie, when jimmy (B-Rabbit) goes to the stage, but ends up not being able to sing, getting booed, thrown stuff and humiliated by everyone watching.**


	8. NOT A CHAPTER but please read

Guys, first of all, tha ks for reading, it means alot. But please give me some feedback. I don't know if I should keep on writing this story or not, if people will read if I keep on updating, or if they'd like to see something different... I dont even know. Just, please let me know if you are enjoying the story and if I should keep on writing. A simple review helps alot on a writer's self esteem, so yea, I just need some feedback, because I'm really liking this story, but I dont know if I should keep on writing.

Please and thank you x


	9. Kurt's POV - Boredom

**Kurt's POV**

"Kuuurt" Blaine cried out loud, throwing his math book across the room and lying down in his bed, leaving his head hanging on the edge of the bed, looking at me with his face turned upside down. "I'm bored"

"Go read your book" I said, looking at the boy on the bed beside me "This is the last week then holidays, cheer up _Blainers_"

Blaine frowned and sat up on the bed "I feel like my brain is going to explode, like, literally explode" he said, leading both of his hands up beside his head, opening them slowly, mimicking with his lips the sound of a bomb exploding "There's only so much math someone is able to handle it before their brains explode" He affirmed, nodding his head slowly. "I'm only a men after all"

"A very lazy one by the way"

"Come on Kurt" He said getting out of the bed and walking till the closed door, he picked up the couple of blazers that was hung behind the door throwing one in my direction, it ended up falling on the lamp on the dresser next to my bed and starting to wear the other blazer "Let's go out. To the Breadsticks or The Lima Bean or Hell even. Just let's get out of here" He suddenly shivered "Too much studying vibe in the same place"

"I don't think that's happening" I stated as I turned the page of my biology book that was resting on my thighs, biting on the end of the pencil that I was using to write notes on the book.

Blaine jumped, taking my book and pencil with a laugh and putting them on the ground, laying out on my bed next to me."Pretty pretty please" he begged "or else I'll explode my brain on your clothes" He threatened me with a seductively smile on his lips "Those stains will stay for like, a whole week"

"That's evil" I murmured, pretending to be shocked and hurt by his words. "You wouldn't dare."

"I would" he replied with an evil smile playing on his lips "But for real, come on, stop studying so hard, too much study will melt your pretty brain out."

"Awe" I smiled at him putting my hands on my chest "My brain is flattered by the compliment"

"You're welcome buddy" Blaine said, tapping lightly on my forehead with his fingers, letting a loud laugh come out of his mouth "But come on _Kurt,_ I'm super hungry and only watching you study is making my brain hurt already."

With a frown, I let out a deep sigh "Fine. Let's just fail, who cares right?" I added with sarcasm "Only our future college and jobs"

"That's my boy" His eyes lit up as the corners of his mouth turned. Blaine's smile growing constantly pressing his cheeks up making his eyes crinckle at the corners. _If I was standing up, my knees would fail me, the voice of my _subconscious_ whispered_ _inside my head _"Come on" He got out of bed, standing up beside it, offering his right hand to help me up. Blaine took the Blazer resting on the lamp, lifting it up behind me, allowing me to put my arms inside the fabric of the blazer.

* * *

We arrived at the small restaurant shortly after, sitting on a small table for two on the back of the establishment. Blaine ordered for both of us, with the waitress trying to flirt with Blaine the whole time. The small boy would only nod and smile politely back at the young girl.

"How you feeling about tomorrow?" I asked, looking at his eyes "Are you nervous?"

"Kinda" he admitted, dropping his napkin on the table and looking back at me, his hazel eyes filled with preocupation and doubt "its too much pressure, you know? It's the freaking '_king's land island christmas spetacular', _I'm scared of making a mistake and end up screwing everything up"

"You won't" I reassured him, grabing his hand with my own, making small circles with my thumb on the top of his hand. "You sounded amazing when we sang it yesterday, you're going to rock that show Blaine, believe me"

"I hope you're right" he smiled shortly

"I'm always right, dummy" I joked, winking at the man sitting in front of me, making his cheeks turn red.

"I wish you would come with me tomorrow though" He murmured sadly

"I wish I could" I agreed in the same tone "But I need to accompany dad to go to the doctor's appointment, Carole can't go and Finn is not really a viable option."

"It's alright" he smiled, returning the pressure in my hand . "I think" he started, but he suddenly stopped, with a smile taking over his whole face, looking down to our hands in the center of the table "I think you're the best friend I've ever had, Kurt"

"Bestest than Mr. Potato? I know how _much _you loved _him_" I teased with a smile covering my face

"Yes, and I was five when that happened" He pouted, pretending to be mad at the comment, trying to hold back the smile that was trying to take over his lips, but failing at that task miserably. "and by the way, Mr. Potato was fabulous, alright? The fabulous potato to ever potato" He added with a sassy attitude.

"Alright" I laughed, followed by Blaine's velvet voice on top of mine.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, making a small noise that I was able to hear. He searched through his pants's pocket with his free hand, taking his phone out of it. "It must be my minion"

"What?" I asked, rising an eyebrow to the odd phrase.

"Nick dared me to sing "breaking free" in the middle of class AND make join me in it." He said, typing slowly into his phone "I should add that the task was a completely success." He happily said with a hint of smugness in his voice " also shares the opinion of how complex and beautiful is High School Musical as a form of art" he added "Nick believed I wouldn't be able to do it" Blaine laughed, returning his phone back in his pocket "but ba-bang, Blaine The Almighty strikes once again" he said making us both laugh "now he has to do whatever I say, until the holidays"

"Wow"

"I know" he replied excitedly "I'm totally making him clean our room as my first act as a king, I dont even dare to look under my bed because I'm afraid that I actually created life from the dirtiness and it would attack me and ARGH" He put both hands in front of his face pretending to be some kind of monster, groaning loudly "I would be the Victor Frankenstein from dirtiness" he stopped for a moment then added "That's an amazing title, _good__job__ brain_"

"I like that idea" I commented, his side of the room was a hell of a mess and cleaning that up would be a real miracle, laughing. "So what you doing for the holidays?" I asked, curious for the answer. Whenever I spoke about the holiday break, Blaine's eyes seemed to saddened, which was weird, because Blaine hated to study, so that attitude was odd... _but maybe I was seeing too much._

"Oh" his smile failing for a millisecond then fading completely, a blank expression taking over his features, dropping my hands and putting it on his pockets "I-I don't kn-know" Blaine stuttered, bitting his lips. His voice trembling in every word "No-Nothing, I guess"

"What do you mean?"

"Its just that" he started, but then he stopped, he stared at my eyes for a few seconds, _trying to find something in them but I wasn't sure of what_, then turned his gaze to the wooden table in front of him, avoiding my eyes as he whispered, with his voice shaking a little "its just complicated, Kurt" _He's hurt, something is wrong, an inner voice echoed in my head, there's something he's not telling me._

"Blaine?" I murmured, grabbing his attention "What's wrong?"

"Its nothing, don't worry"

"Blaine." I said it again, louder and with more urgency "What's the matter?"

"Can we talk about this later?" he replied, still avoiding to look into my eyes, shrinking his shoulders. Blaine looked so tiny and helpless in front of me, the boy looked like he was trying to protect himself from something invisible that would threaten him constantly. With a shy smile, he finaly looked back at me "please" I opened my mouth to protest, but I just nodded. The smile returned to his face but it didn't reach his eyes "look, the food is coming!"

The waitress returned to our table, bringing two plates filled with food, putting one in front of Blaine and the other in front of me, also putting two glasses filled with soda in the table, once again, one in front of Blaine and one in front of me. She tried to slip her phone number under Blaine's plate. I looked at the boy on the other end of the table, it was when I realized that Blaine did _notice_ what the waitress did but pretended not to, trying not to give fake hopes for the young girl, but it seemed that she didn't take as a favor but as a personal attack, her smile fell from her face turning into a frown, she left the surroundings of our table, going back to the kitchen to receive the other dishes, swearing under her breath that '_men were all the same_'.

I avoided the holiday topic through our conversation, I didn't want to see Blaine sad like that again, so we spoke about banalities of life, we planned some tasks for Nick, as a personal revenge for the last time Nick and Jeff pranked me and Blaine, tying our legs together with a very efficient handcuff toy that Jeff had bought from a '1,99 cents' store. We stayed like that for a whole day. _Revenge would be very sweet. _We talked about how Mr . Lindsay was being even more of a bitch these past few days and how The Wicked was the most amazing musical we've had ever watched and how pizza has the power to achieve world peace.

We finished our dinner and we went back to Dalton at the end of the day.

**If you liked and want to read more, please leave a review c:**


	10. Blaine's POV - Christmas Eve

**Christmas Eve: The Hummel-Hudson family**

**Author's Notes: **

**So I tried to make a cute chapter, but it ended up darker than I thought it would #VivaLeAngst**

**Please leave a review, that would be totally great.**

**_*__italic means flashback* (flashbacks will also have a "*" to mark where it begins and where it ends for a better visualization) _**P._s.: I was thinking about underlining the whole thing, but it just wouldn't be aesthetically pleasing... If you have any tips on that, let me know. _

* * *

The conversation at the dinner table went on smoothly, everyone joined in at some point or another, which was weird, because I wasn't used to that at all, at my house, we rarely spoke to each other in a daily basis, at the table, the possibility of a conversation was even lesser.

Laughter surrounded the walls, voices going and coming, with the metallic sound of the knives and forks working fast, hitting the plate non stop. Stories being told while we enjoyed the lovely meal that Kurt's step mother made.

I was sitting next to Kurt, the dinner table only had space for four, Kurt's dad took a small white plastic chair from the basement and put it on the table for me.

"How's Glee Club going?" Kurt asked, looking at Finn that was sitting across the table. His eyes glowed for just mentioning his former group.

"We miss you Kurt" Finn growled, he had just put a big piece of meat in his mouth, the dark red sauce dripping down slowly on his chin. In every word he spoke, I was able to see the piece of meat he was trying to chew running from one side to the other inside his mouth, hitting the insides of his cheeks, like a boxer player being thrown around the ring. "It's not the same without you" Finn added, to every word that found its way out of his mouth, a jet of spit would follow it closely

"Finn!" Kurt practically shouted, moving away from the drops of saliva from the mouth of his half-brother, it looked like a small missile of 'salivated food'. "Have some manners" slowly inclining his head to my direction, eyes still fixed on Finn. "we have a guest"

I looked at the boy sitting in front of me with a smile on my lips taking a sip of the orange juice that filled my glass. "it's all good, Finn"

"Awesome bro" He said, putting another huge piece of meat in his mouth, holding big transparent glass of water that now was stained with Finn's fingerprints because of the sauce, taking it to his mouth, watering the piece of meat that was resting on his tongue.

"Mom" Finn muttered, he looked at me, his eyes were filled with confusion, his eye brows glued together, making his forehead frown, it looked like that the lines in his forehead had been svelte by an experienced sculptor. He raised his fork and began to circulate it in the air in front of his eyes, his expression reminded me of a mathematician who was trying to do an impossible count or a philosopher thinking too hard about his existence. "Why Kurt can bring his boyfriend, and I cant?" He asked, looking between his mother and Burt. That's not fai-"

"FINN?!" Kurt said, his voice rippling between notes, sounding sometimes very low, but sometimes very acute as well. His pale face starting to gain a pinkish color with every half of a second.  
Carole had a smile on her lips while she exchanged a look with Burt, who just looked at Kurt with his right eyebrow raised, adjusting his cap on his head.

With the word "boyfriend" I felt my heart racing inside my chest and my cheeks begin to heat up, I transferred my gaze to my plate, while I shrunk in the small chair I was sitting on, trying to hide my face from the Hummel-Hudson's.

"What?" Finn answered Kurt, the confused expression still on his features . "No NO NO" He added defensively seconds later, after finishing chewing the piece of meat in his mouth, shaking his hands frantically in front of his body "I didn't mean, you know, bring my boyfriend, I meant Rachel. Come on Kurt, I'm not a gay dude, nothing against gay dudes, like, I'm all good for gay dudes doing gay stuff though bro"

"Don't bro me" Kurt whispered sourly beside me then making his voice louder towards Finn "you shouldn't ask that to people, he's our guest after all"

When Finn opened his mouth to answer, Carole started talking "you can't because Rachel spend the holidays with her dad's" She looked at the huge boy beside her with a look full of love, she was so little by his side, it made me think about how it should had been to give birth to such a huge person, then my brain reminded me that we all start not as smaller and compact version of ourselves but as babies, I looked at Burt and imagined the doctors holding him with his cap on and congratulating his mother with 'its a boy'. Which reminded me as well that I probably should have taken my medication before coming, so I wouldn't be thinking about giving birth or how cute a smaller and compact version of Kurt would have been. brain behave yourself! "And remember the last time we invited her in for Christmas?

"Ya" Finn said, having a flashback inside his head of the event of last year, making his body tremble slightly, making the rest of the table laugh.

"And besides" his mother added "you're grounded for making Sam and Brittany believe that herpes is actually a friendly monster allergic to tomatoes, remember?"

"It was totally worth it, though" he replied laughing.

I looked up to Kurt with a curious expression."Do I wanna know?"

He smiled and answered quietly "About the herpes monster, because that would make a great movie" I laughed at the comment, because it totally would be a great movie, especially if Michael Bay got the rights for the movie, making the herpes monster explode everything. Sweet. "About Rachel, its not really a big deal, you know? She came here and made everyone kinda of go crazy, with her 'Rachel madness' that was increased severally by the holidays." He rolled his eyes "She almost burnt the house down trying to make a souffle"

"But then" Finn murmured, his agile eyes inspecting my whole being "Why doesn't Blaine has to spend the holidays with his parents too? Did he burn a soufflé too because that would totally make sense" Kurt sent an angry look at Finn, making the light confused look on his brother's face turn instantly into pure terror.

"Its alright" I said, mostly for Kurt who was still staring at his brother with his burning eyes "My parents, they are traveling..." I started, giving a small pause at the middle of the phrase, thinking if I should continue it, or not. "...they don't really care where I go anyways" I eventually said, a hint of sadness surrounded my voice like a faithful lover, even though I was trying to not show emotion through my tone. I failed miserably at that task.

I could feel Carole's eyes resting on me, she had a sad expression on her face, looking at me like a worried mother would look at to her son, she was holding Burt's hand over the table. Burt already knew that, Kurt called him yesterday when I had just said that I would end up staying at Dalton for the holidays.

**"*" **"_But dad" Kurt groaned on the phone, the first thing he did when we got home from our 'date' was question me about the holidays "Blaine can't spend Christmas by himself" He looked at me, sharing a weak sympathetic smile at my direction "No one should" I only looked to my feet. I couldn't lie, it would be nice to be around actual people on Christmas for a change. No one would stay at Dalton, but a few boys who would never speak to each other. "Okay. Alright. Fine dad, I'll tell him. Love you" Kurt said to the small device leaning on his ear, his smile gaining strength from every word that was said on the other end. He hung up and beat his hands fast together with claps of joy. He put his arm around my shoulder and pointed to the end of the hallway, as if we were in a zoo and he was showing me this really cool and rare animal "Dear visitors, in this case, Mr. Anderson" he said changing the tone of voice, mimicking the voice of an actual zoo instructor, like that one character in Jurassic Park that everybody loves but no one cares enough to remember the name "You will be staying at the Hummel-Hudson house hold for the next days, enjoy your stay and don't feed the animals" I smiled at the excited tone of his voice "I mean Finn, by the way" he laughed. "He'll literally end you for food and well, I would miss my roomie if that happened"_

_"That will be awesome" I said excitedly, making his smile go even bigger.** "*"**_

"Well," Kurt coughed, trying to change the subject. "At least you can be graced with my presence Anderson." Pretending to throw his nonexistent long hair back, behind his shoulders, changing the tone of voice to mimic the main characters of _White Chicks_

"Oh thanks goodness, I don't know what I would do without you, Hummel " I sighed with a mock-relief kind of tone, making everyone laugh, lighting back the mood.

"How's school, kiddo?" Burt asked, looking to his son. Since Kurt had entered the school, he hadn't been able come home yet, the only time he was, it was for Burt's wedding, and they didn't spend much_ (any)_ time talking about school that day.

"It's alright" He answered "everyone is super nice and friendly but..." Kurt added, poking the food on his plate with his fork "But I miss my girls, you know?" He looked at Finn, who had an unhappy face by the mentioning of only "girls" on Kurt's sentence, forgetting the rest of the gang. Kurt noticed and added quickly "I miss everyone actually, Dalton is just... different. "

who had an unhappy face by the mentioning of only "girls" on Kurt's sentence, forgetting the rest of the gang. Kurt noticed and added quickly "I miss everyone. Dalton is just... different"

The conversation lasted a few more minutes, Carole began to talk about her work and how she had a patient who used a large amount of drugs before being hospitalized. That when he arrived at the hospital, he started to think that world turned upside down, literally, and he claimed that he was _Frank N Furter._ Kurt asked Burt how the business in the garage was going, he said that he was almost starting to miss the place. Putting a lot of emphasis on the 'almost'. Finn told us about how they managed to actually build up a Christmas tree for the Glee Club, but that made them demolish it, in a _"super uncool way"_, quoting Finn.

See them like that made my heart shiver. I Knew Kurt had a great relationship with his dad since the first time I laid my eyes on the figure of Burt Hummel. How many thing he found himself sacrificing to put Kurt on a private school, in a safe environment, I saw the big silhouette talking to the principal for hours and hours to see if this school would fit the best for his little boy. Kurt's relationship with his father was something that would awake a feeling that I hated inside of me, that I always tried to lock it up, jealousy. I was jealous of how caring of his son, was, always being there for his kid. When Kurt told me how his dad reacted to the news of him being gay and how okay and understanding he was about it, it made my heart fill with hope and happiness for my friend, but I could also feel it breaking a little inside my chest, the pieces falling on my stomach, making my head dizzy. Jealous because my relationship with my father was virtually nonexistent.

I would try hard, but even though I tried, I just couldn't imagine dad being so protective and caring about me the way was with Kurt. I just couldn't imagine him being happy for who I grew up to be.

_**"*" **I can still feel the cold eyes, filled with disgust that took over my father's features, ashamed of his own son, when I came out to my dad and brother. I remember him violently taking the belt off his waist and raising his right hand above his head with a fist tightly holding the leather piece "tonight" he murmured "I will make you become a real man, you little faggot trash" _

_Dad was the first person to ever call me faggot and the only one that ever truly hurt. Before being able to apply the first blow at me, Cooper, my older brother, came in intervention between dad's hand and my face._

_ "__If you hit him father, you will have to go over me" Cooper said, leaving his body in front of mine, stretching his arms around my body, trying to put some distance between me and my father, I could feel his hand sweating and shaking over my arm. Dad looked at us. Within his eyes, a darkness that I would never imagine be able to exist, his jaw locked in an expression of pure rage that covered his entire face. _

_Dad pushed him out of the way, the boy fell to the floor making a low hollow noise, I would find out that he had injured his right ankle the next day. Dad turned his gaze to me and started attacking my body with the strap of the belt, causing me to fall on the floor, cringing in a fetal position, trying to dodge his punches. One. Two. Ten. Twenty. I lost count of how many times he would have hit me that night "Man up, Blaine" He said, taking one last look at my mother, who upon hearing the noises coming from the living room, she ran from the kitchen, stopping in shock at the sight that awaited for her in the wide room.__Dad turned his gaze to the other side, looking between me and my brother, both sprawled on the floor before walking away, thundering through the door, going straight to his office. _

_That was the only time that dad ever hit me, after that, he would ignore me completely for most of the time, when recognized that I existed, he would just yell about how much of a disappointment I was. After coming out three years ago, and being abused mentally by my own father, my mother would suffer as well in his hands trying to defend me. when she heard about Dalton's history, mom came up with a plan, she decided to stay with dad so I could stay safe at Dalton. She had dropped college to stay with dad years ago and now she didn't really have a job that could afford paying for a private school as Dalton, and to make things worse, I would not have Cooper to have my back anymore when he moved to Los Angeles months after the incident, I had to come in terms that dad was always going to look at me that way, disgusted and ashamed. I would never be able to make him proud. Nothing I did was good enough. Who I was would never be good enough. **"*"**_

"Blaine, sweetie, are you okay?" Carole asked with obvious concern which surprised me, to say the least. Why on earth would he think something was wrong? I quickly turned to face her.

"I'm fine, Ma'am" I said with no enthusiasm.

"You just look a bit off, kiddo" Burt added, inspecting my face, looking for a hint on my face that could show him what was going on in my head, exactly like Kurt would do when I was being distant back at our dorm. "Are you sure that you're okay?"

"Yes, sir. I'm doing great, " I lied, showing one of my best smiles. "This evening has been amazing" and that wasn't a lie. I was having fun, hearing Finn babbling about his school and Carole talking about her patients, or Burt trying to eat candy and Kurt fighting him off as if he was the paternal figure between the both of them. I was having fun, but my brain doesn't seem to enjoy that much, making me feel bad in a blink o f the eye.

When he opened his mouth to make another question, Kurt interrupted, looking at me quickly, with a "we will talk about this later" kind of expression before looking at his father "Dad!" He said, taking his father's hand away from the bowl. Carole had just poured a small bowl of peach for every one who was sitting on the table, then placed a large orange bowl in the center of the dining table, full of cream. While Burt questioned me, he had caught the big bowl of cream, holding a spoon with the other hand, the man picked up a considerable portion of cream, ready to pour over the peach when Kurt noticed "You know you can't eat that" Kurt said with a worried look on his face "remember, your heart dad"

"I'll be fine, son" Burt reassured his son "its just a small spoon" he murmured, trying to bargain with his kid, that wasn't taking any of it.

"Dad" Kurt put the cream jar next to my plate and crossed tightly his arms across his chest, the boy's gaze was a mixture of worry and restraint toward his father.

"Alriiight" Burt said, dragging the word, making a tiny pout with his lips to finish the sentence, while Carole stroked his shoulder lightly, laughing loudly.

* * *

"Well there's a game on, so if you will excuse me" Burt got up from his chair, picking up his small plate with peach leftover on the bottom, leading his feet to the sink. "Do you need any help or anything, love?"

"It's alright, honey." Carole stood up. "It won't take more than a couple of minutes and I'll be right there."

"Go sit and relax," she said, giving small kiss on his lips.

Finn quickly shoveled the rest of his food into his mouth, bringing his small bowl and glass on to his mom's hands and hurried into the living room after Burt. "Who's playing today, Burt?"

Me and Kurt stood up at the same time, crowding our small plates and cups used in our arms, going to the sink, which was already filled with a stack of dishes and pans, balancing the dirty dishes o top of it. "Do you need a hand with cleaning up?" I asked the woman next to me with a smile on her face.

"Oh that's sweet of you, but I'll be alright." Carole said with a sweet smile covering her whole face, putting two yellow gloves on her hands and opening the tap in front of her body "Why don't you boys go and watch the game?"

"Okay" Kurt said, returning the smile of his stepmother, holding my hand and leading me toward the couch in the living room. Burt sat in a brown armchair next to the sofa where Kurt had took me, resting both hands on his knees, vibrating with a wrong pass from one of the rival players of his team on TV. Finn sat on the floor, his wide back was pressed against the couch where Kurt and I had just sat down,his eyes were fixed on the small TV screen, his eyes trained on every move that was happening on the screen, providing an amazing amount of attention that I've never imagined, even from knowing him for a few hours, that Finn would be able to provide to anything to every comment made by the TV's commentator.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked me. Different from everyone he didn't ask me if I was okay, he knew I wasn't okay and he knew me well enough to know that I would lie if he asked me that question, so he asked me what was wrong. _That was one of the reasons that made_ _Kurt an unique kind of friend._ His eyes concentrated studying my face, paying attention to every change of attitude in my features.

"I'm fine" I lied, looking down. _I hated lying to Kurt, he was just trying to help, why couldn't my brain just let him in?!_

"Blaine, seriously?" Kurt asked again, nervously running his fingers on his hair "I can tell when there's something off with you from a mile away." He smiled, and stared at my eyes. "What's wrong?

"Its just-" I stuttered "its just nice, you know? See you all together, happy, enjoying each other companies." I whispered as Finn and Burt howled with a touchdown that had just been narrated by the shrill voice of the commentator "I'm kinda of jealous, to be very honest" I said smiling even though my eyes didn't share the same opinion as my lips, looking at Kurt, that was only hearing what I have to say with full concentration his jaw moving slightly "You and your dad's relationship."I specified, watching the boy sitting next to me, looking him straight in the eyes, the light that was bouncing off the television in his body, making Kurt's body look like a mixture of black and white and blue in contrast to the lack of light "I never thought it was possible, to be so... good." Kurt brought his hand to mine, holding it tightly. I could tell by his tone that he knew. He understood. The only person I've found myself not hiding who I really was for the past few years was Santana, pretending to be someone else to everyone around but her, she would be the only person that I felt comfortable enough, safe enough, to be myself. But now things were different. She was still my safe place, but not the only one, Kurt had entered in my life and changed how things used to be. Even though she was in a place that I once was, Kurt had already been through it and he could fully understand my thoughts in a personal level.

I'd finally feel safe around someone else, I felt safe around him, I felt like I could do whatever I'd put my mind into, that I could be whoever I wanted to be, that I could finally be myself. Sometimes, when the night would fall, the questions and doubts would fall upon my shoulder, I would question everything, the slightest possibility of how Kurt affected me, how I could be so certain that it was safe to trust Kurt, and some nights, I wasn't so certain. But when my brain would buzz inside of my head, the constant noise saying otherwise. The constant fear of rejection swimming around my being, I would look into his eyes, I would hear his voice, I would feel his tender touch, and forget all the doubts at the very same instant. Knowing that Kurt would be there, to help me out, to stop me from drowning in my own thoughts. "its just different from what I'm used to."

"Oh" Kurt let out of his lips. "So you better get used to it, Anderson" Kurt smiled, playing with my fingers in his hands, caressing my skin with the soft touch from his thin fingers "because you're never spending another holiday by yourself. Ever again"

"Thanks Kurt"

"You will never be lonely again" he promised under his breath, as Carole entered the room and sat on Burt's Armchair, she leaned against the man's resting body sitting in the chair, as he grabbed her hand and laced his fingers with his wife's while he vibrated with another touchdown. "I won't let you" Kurt concluded, resting his head against my shoulder, looking at our hands together resting upon his black jeans and smiling "Not anymore, Anderson, because I'll be right there. With you. Making your life way awesomer" I leaned my head on top of his, feeling the soft touch of his hair on my cheek, tickling my skin with the soft touch, a shampoo smell coming into my nostrils, a soft smell of strawberry mixed with chemicals. I looked down, watching the boy in the poor light that came from the TV and rested over his features, the image of the boy against my body, making me smile. "Thanks, _Hummel-boy_"


	11. Blaine's POV - Christmas Morning

**Author's note:**  
**The Christmas part is here, I really hope you guys like it. Please leave a review if you do... or if you don't #TeamFreeWill**

**(Italic means flashback. "*" it marks when the flashback starts and when it ends)**

* * *

I must have ended up sleeping in the small red couch, because I woke up with Finn's heavy steps down the stairs, running to the kitchen like a crazy person. I moved my head, scared by the unexpected noise, looking desperately around the room. _These walls, that lamp, that small stained spot in the ceiling, this was not my house nor Dalton._ I scanned the place with my eyes, trying to remind myself where I was at, I could feel my stomach start to twirl inside my body from the _unknown_. I sat down at the couch, rubbing the back of my head with my bitten nails, remembering that I was at Kurt's house last night, having a Christmas eve dinner with his family. I glanced down and noticed that Kurt was sprawled out on an air mattress that was on the floor, leaning against the sofa. He had just woke up now also because of the loud noise from his Step-brother's steps. His whole body was wrapped in a blue blanket with tiny circle patterns all over it, his head buried in the big pillow, I was only able to see a small spot of his tangled brown hair on the sea of white from his pillow, trying to drown out the noise with all his strength.

Kurt looked up, he had a frown on spread all over his face that it looked like it would last for ages. He stroked his hair smoothly with his fingertips as he sat down and looked at me, a smile taking over his expression. "Hello there"

"Hi" I smiled back at him, looking at the cute mess that the boy was, his hair all tangled up around his forehead, half of Kurt's face was deep red over sleeping over that body part in the past few hours, his eyes were almost closed missing the sweet sweet feeling of the sleeping world over them.. he just looked incredibly sweet.

One good reasons of being small is that I usually fit comfortably in anywhere I wanted. I was sitting in the center of the sofa with my legs crossed, holding the bluish white pillow that I slept with in my hands while pressing it tightly against my chest, staring at the turned off TV as I made a long and loud yawn. "What time is it?" He questioned, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands.

"Early" I replied, staring at the small window beside the front door, outside the window it was still very dark "Very early"

"Ugh. I shouldn't have ate so much last night" Kurt groaned looking at me as he stomach roared in agreement, he then lied back in the mattress, putting his pillow over his face, covering completely his vision. "I won't get out of here for like, twenty years" he groaned louder this time. Kurt looked at me and saw me laughing, he arched his right eyebrow and gave me a micro wry smile with his thin lips, the kind of smile he usually did before starting a performance. "For real" a wave of pure shock passed through Kurt's face, his expression changing in a matter of seconds, his eyes widened like never before as his mouth opened in horror "How will I eat if I don't get out of here though, Blaine? How will I get Carole's delicious cupcakes, dear Lord, this is Hell on Earth"

"You're such a drama queen" I laughed under my breath as he stared at me with a playful smile on his face.

"At least I'm a queen" He agreed with sass shrugging his shoulders as he let out a loud laugh through his mouth then quickly putting both hands over his mouth, trying to repress and bring the noise that had just come out through his lips back to his mouth, afraid of having woke up his parents with the noise. When he noticed that Burt and Carole were still deeply asleep he sighed before returning to his former position in the mattress with a pillow over his face.

"If you want, I could carry you to the kitchen." I suggested with a smile, laughing internally of the boy who lied down next to the couch, flexing my arm beside my body, pretending to be beefy.

Kurt took the pillow out of his face, throwing it to his side and looked at me, snorting "Please Blaine, you wouldn't be able to make it two steps carrying me."

"Is that a challenge?" I asked raising an eyebrow with a smirk on my face.

"No, it's the truth." Kurt laughed, sitting and looking at me. I just smiled in reply. "You'll break your back doing that"

"I'm super strong though" I said bragging "Like I moved a whole tank once"

"Just because your deodorant brand is named tank, doesn't mean its a real tank, Blaine" he smirked and then added, a wry smile starting to grow on his lips "Go slow _He-man, _or else you will unemploy The Hulk"

"Ha Ha"I replied showing the tongue to the older boy in front of me who just laughed in response, making me laugh too.

"It's christmas" I casually changed the subject, getting out of the couch and sitting next to Kurt in the mattress.

"Yes, it is" The boy next to me replied, lifting up one of the blanket's end as a offer for me to get in with him which I happily accepted covering my whole body with the warm tissue.

"I hope your family won't be mad, but I didn't buy anything to them, I didn't know I would come here or else I'd have-" I started to say, getting comfortable next to the tall boy underneath the blanket, I could feel Kurt's arm touching mine, my arm suddenly covered in goosebumps with the hairs standing straight up as the blood flowed faster and faster under the touched skin area.

"Don't be silly" Kurt interrupted me "You didn't need to buy anything, Blaine. The best gift you could give us is being here with us" He gave a brief pause and then looked at me with a smile that lighted up his whole face "And there it is. You are here. Mission accomplished"

"Good" I replied, leaning my head against Kurt's shoulder, staring straight ahead, listening to Finn open the refrigerator and dropping something on the floor, followed by a quietly _'fuck me'_ from the room "So you won't want the gift I bought to you then?"

"Gift?" Kurt queried quietly under his breath, his voice bathed in curiosity "What gift?"

"Well, I hope is not broken" I confessed, unzipping my jacket slowly with my _almost_ frozen fingers from the cold, stirring the black buttons slowly with my hands. While I was doing this movement, Kurt's cheeks flushed with the color of scarlet like the color of my sweater. His pale face turned extremely red, Kurt looked away nervously, but not getting hid of the red glow that came over his face, his eyes went comically wide as I stared back at him. I stopped for a millisecond, reevaluating the whole situation in my brain and understanding the reason behind Kurt's reaction and how what I was doing could look like from an outsider point of view. A heat rushed through my face, I felt my ears heating up as my face turned red in a matter of seconds. "it-its not th-that" I chocked trying to explain myself, shoving a hand into one of the inner pockets of the jacket I was wearing, taking out of it a small but long package.

"I didn't th-think that" Kurt clarified trying to comfort me, but his voice trembled in each word as his face grew increasingly rosy by the second as I knew mine was doing as well.

"Here" I gave to the boy sitting next to me the long yellow package wrapped in a hurry before coming here. It was covered with cellophane tape all over the place, you could barely see the "Merry Christmas" on the gift-paper out of how crumpled and wrinkled the gift-paper was "I would've put under the tree, but I ended up falling asleep and yea"

"You didn't have to, Blaine." He picked up the object with his hands, watching intently the object resting in the palm of his hand, trying to figure out what it was before opening it. He stopped and gave a small smile in my direction. "What is it?"

"You'll have to open it to find out" I teased as I watched him open the long thin package, biting my lower lip. Kurt gasped as he finished tearing the gift-paper apart, his eyes going wide immediately as a giant smile covered his whole face, lighting up his features.

Kurt placed the gift that I had bought him gently over the ripped gift wrapping on his lap as he wrapped his arms around my neck, tackling me into a hug, holding me tightly around his arms, making me laugh.

_**"*" **_"_You're into swords, Kurt?" I asked as I entered the room looking over Kurt's shoulder on his laptop that was playing a __YouTube_ video, where this Asian young man was doing_ various kinds of tricks with two small swords"Well, obviously right? We are gay"_

"_Blaine" Kurt laughed without taking his eyes away from the tiny screen "You're walking way too much with Satan, you're already talking like her_"

_"Oops" I smiled, sitting on my bed and getting comfy over the two fluffy pillows under my back "but are you? Do you like swords?_

"_Um... I love swords" He answered quickly, his eyes eagerly shinning as he mimicked with two pencils the guy on the video "I grew up watching __Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles__ and always wanted to learn. It's great exercise. And _  
_it's good to know that you could kick ass if you needed to" He finished his sentence with a smirk on his face as he threw one of the pencils on my forehead_

_"Point taken, Rafael*" I replied, stroking my head. __**"*"**_

He let me go and looked again at the brand new weapons and gasped, eyes going wide. "Blaine, how did you found these? I've been looking for it for ages" he breathed and grabbed out the two brand new sai-swords from his lap and twirled them between his fingers. The last one he had broke one day, ever since he kept on whining around our dorm about how he wished he had another.

"I know" I rolled my eyes with a tiny smile playing on my lips "Me and the boys went Christmas shopping a few days ago and I found it in this new store"

_**"*" **__I was sitting in front of the piano in the 'The Warblers choir room', playing the same notes for the past ten minutes, lost in thoughts. David, Wes and Nick entered through the big doors from the choir room, they were holding some papers and pens in their hands ._

_"See" Nick exclaimed "I told you he would be here" they all stood beside me, I only noticed they were there when Wes snapped his fingers in front of my face._

_"Where's your head at, Blaine?" Wes inquired while I jumped, turning to face the group."Sorry," I said shaking my head._

_"We need to finish this goddamn work today, man" David sighed, showing me the paper about the second great war that gave to us last month, it is due tomorrow._

_"Oh"_

_"'Oh' indeed" David agreed, sighing ever harder._

_"You alright, man?" Wes asked, inspecting my face. "You seem a little off "_

_"Yeah, I just... I was thinking about the holidays, you know?" Wes sent a small comforting smile in my direction, he knew how things were at home, so he sympathized with my situation "And I need to find Kurt the perfect Christmas present, as well" I told them, driving away from the 'I'll be alone for Christmas because I have family issues' subject that I was pretty sure Wes would start trying to comfort me if I didn't change the subject "and I'm stuck. I just don't know what to do"_

_"You're not the only one, mate," David sighed again, throwing his body on the red couch. "We're struggling to get our girlfriends something too."_

_"He's not my-"_

_"I have no idea what to get... for everyone basically" Nick added, his voice fast and loud. "I went shopping last week and I haven't found my parents gift or my sister's gift yet. I'm also having trouble finding Jeff's gift. He's my best buddy and I-" he quickly added "No offense, guys. And the only thing I have in mind is socks and that's not a good gift!" He exasperated confessed, throwing his hands in the air "At all!"_

_"We could go shopping together," I suggested. "Help each other out."_

_"I'm in," Nick immediately replied, putting his hand in the air as if we were in the classroom. Wes and David agreed as well and we went after school to the new mall that had just opened last week. __**"*"**_

"Thanks , Blaine" he held one of sticks, finally noticing what was inscribed in one of them with small but classy cursive letters, it was written 'courage' on the bottom of it. Kurt smiled, just a tiny smile at first, but it grew fast as the seconds passed, pressing his cheeks up and showing his teeth. The warmth that glowed from his eyes, making me feel all fuzzy and warm inside.

"I know is cheesy, but that was actually the first thing I really said to you, when you became more than just the new spy kid but you had become Kurt, the friend to me" I said following the path of his gaze where his eyes were focused "So, I thought it would be cool to-" he grabbed me again and kissed my cheek, making all the blood in my body go to my head. He whispered thank you again and squeezed our bodies together ever more. The warmth of his body against mine, the safe aura that would take over me when I was holding his with my arms, it looked like that nothing bad could ever happen as long as I was with Kurt, the sweet scent that came from his hair, caressing my being. _I could get used to this, I thought_.

"Let me give you my gift then!" He said getting up and going straight to the kitchen where the Hummel-Hudson left alongside the dinner table, the small plastic Christmas tree. Kurt came back from the kitchen, Kurt returned from the kitchen, he was answering to something had said while he was there. He sat next to me, handing me a small box "it's nothing big, but I hope you like it"

I untied the big red bow that was on top of the box and opened it. Inside the small box, it had a scarf that mixed yellow and black all the way through the tissue, with a small emblem sewn on it. "Oh my god Kurt, this is awesome" I took the scarf from the box and instantly wrapped it around my neck.

"How do I look?" I asked, striking a pose with a large pout on my lips and my eyebrows close together, touching my face against my neck, making me appear to have a double chin, putting my hand behind my head like a model.

"Fabulous" he replied laughing from the silly face I was making.

"How did you find these though? They hardly make any Hufflepuff merchandise!"

"Well, you'll have to ask Santa" He replied with the most serious face I've ever saw Kurt manage to do, but after a few seconds he crackled up in laughter "Its a long story. Mercedes found it online and I thought 'Blaine would love that' when she told me about it". He stopped for a second then added, making both of us laugh "Oh, well, I guess it wasn't that long"

"Thanks Kurt" I said hugging tightly the boy next to me, burying my face on his shoulder "I love these kind of things"

"Happy Christmas, Blaine" Kurt whispered, the corners of his mouth lift up into a warm and vivacious smile, His eyes twinkled with joy as he stared back into my eyes. He smiled then turned up the TV, A Christmas movie was on in the channel he had chosen, I leaned over to get closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder, getting comfortable next to him.

"Happy Christmas, Kurt" I said, feeling the smile on his face on mine.

* * *

**More Author's Note:**

_**Glossary:**_

***Raphael: One of the character of Teen Mutant Ninja Turtles.**

***Satan: Referring to Santana Lopes.**

**Also, I have a thing for Harry Potter Klaine, so the Hufflepuff bit it was because of that.**  
**Once again, please leave me a review and tell me how you like the story so far.**


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